As the week has went on I've kept coming back to that moment. I've had a few yelling matches with God in the car, asking Him questions, asking for clarity, asking for faith. I've cried a lot. I've fallen asleep while putting the kids to bed in the midst of boxes everywhere, food all over the counters and table because there is no where to put it until we get a cupboard. Every time I've wanted to give up I've heard our friend's voice. I've heard my dad's voice. And I've come to the place where I know they are right. The only way to get settled and not be in chaos is to get over it and settle in. We fully knew this would hit-it's classic transition. In fact, I actually was almost sure it would hit in conjunction with the house. I didn't anticipate how hard the kids would crash though. That has made it a bit harder. I also didn't realize just how tired I'd be all over again. However, we're all sleeping amazingly on our new mattresses! We have managed to meet a couple neighbors. We are finding some furniture through second hand options and will make an Ikea run and buy a washing machine in the next couple days we hope. We've had some incredible times of community and worship and some very productive and exciting meetings this week. We've prayed for our communities and dreamed for the people we are meeting and been prayed for and well cared for and served by our team and friends here. I even had a classmate's mom offer to do laundry for us until we bought a washer! Things aren't terrible. I'm just tired and wish I could wave the fairy godmother wand and have the house in order. My parents and others have asked how they can help. Right now we just need prayers for much rest-physically and for our souls as well. Next week is a new week. One wide open with possibilities for God to keep building his kingdom here. I am so thankful that He has invited us on this journey to work with him here. And now I'm going to bed where I'm planning on all of us enjoying a Saturday morning of sleeping in, breakfast together, then we'll just have to get over the mess and start diving in one box at a time!
A week ago we finally signed a lease on a house here. Woo hoo, exciting-right? As that day wore on I realized how tired I was emotionally and decided I wanted to go home. The problem was in order to get home (whether home here or back to the US) it would require effort and work. As the weekend went on and we moved all of our boxes and the bit of furniture we've been acquiring, the kids also hit the wall. We are exhausted. We have been holding it together emotionally for the last 6 months and I think with the security of a house we all finally cracked. It felt like the wall that had been holding the flood at bay cracked all over and there was no longer a way to hold back the flood. I have to admit I spent some time crying and it took a lot of effort to even just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Moving is a lot of work and energy spent anyway. Moving for the 5th time in 5 months and in a foreign country and without the bulk of our storage furniture (dressers, cupboards, etc) was too much. The kids also started to shut down. We have had a rough week. There have been tears all around and much tiredness. On top of that, Ty is prepping for a huge worship event Sunday where he and other musicians from our team are helping lead worship for many Belgian churches. I think we've had pizza, ramen and oatmeal for dinners each night and the house is an absolute wreck! Somewhere in the middle of the week I was talking to some friends on our team who are a bit like grandparents to the kids. We had been living with them and I was telling him how tired I am and how I just wanted to go home and be done with all this transition and such chaos yet again. While he was wrestling with the kids and they were laughing away he looked up and matter-of-fact (and just like my dad would say it) said "well, you just have to get over it anyway, huh?!" That was what I needed to get us out the door that evening and start sleeping in our new house. That and my amazing husband who has done a ton of hauling and must be even more exhausted than me this week.
As the week has went on I've kept coming back to that moment. I've had a few yelling matches with God in the car, asking Him questions, asking for clarity, asking for faith. I've cried a lot. I've fallen asleep while putting the kids to bed in the midst of boxes everywhere, food all over the counters and table because there is no where to put it until we get a cupboard. Every time I've wanted to give up I've heard our friend's voice. I've heard my dad's voice. And I've come to the place where I know they are right. The only way to get settled and not be in chaos is to get over it and settle in. We fully knew this would hit-it's classic transition. In fact, I actually was almost sure it would hit in conjunction with the house. I didn't anticipate how hard the kids would crash though. That has made it a bit harder. I also didn't realize just how tired I'd be all over again. However, we're all sleeping amazingly on our new mattresses! We have managed to meet a couple neighbors. We are finding some furniture through second hand options and will make an Ikea run and buy a washing machine in the next couple days we hope. We've had some incredible times of community and worship and some very productive and exciting meetings this week. We've prayed for our communities and dreamed for the people we are meeting and been prayed for and well cared for and served by our team and friends here. I even had a classmate's mom offer to do laundry for us until we bought a washer! Things aren't terrible. I'm just tired and wish I could wave the fairy godmother wand and have the house in order. My parents and others have asked how they can help. Right now we just need prayers for much rest-physically and for our souls as well. Next week is a new week. One wide open with possibilities for God to keep building his kingdom here. I am so thankful that He has invited us on this journey to work with him here. And now I'm going to bed where I'm planning on all of us enjoying a Saturday morning of sleeping in, breakfast together, then we'll just have to get over the mess and start diving in one box at a time!
3 Comments
Joanne Ynema
10/11/2013 07:24:04 am
I know how hard this time can be, praying for you and that you will feel God's Strength and Love in the days to come and when more hard days hit. Many blessings. Hugs
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Sandy
10/11/2013 08:17:03 am
Lord, please pour on the Stewart family the peace that passes understanding. Please give them (each in the way s/he needs) Your strength to "carry on." We know we can count on You, Lord, so we ask You to take charge here and help each family member get through this transition. In Jesus' name and for Your glory, amen.
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Al and June
10/11/2013 05:10:49 pm
It's a difficult time, but with HIM in our lives it always comes back to make sense. You have a beautiful family. Keep p[raying!!!!
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AuthorsCarolyn & (sometimes) Ty Archives
March 2016
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